(written on Tuesday)

I just got back from the pediatrician’s office, yet again. We had to make sure Jordan’s pneumonia was getting better and it is, thank goodness. I had to take all four boys today since Samuel got out of school early for the holiday. It’s funny how adding one kid can really make things so much worse. Samuel and Jordan had the sillys today. Samuel had a party at school today and apparently they loaded the kid up with sugar or something because he was off the chain. (See I am hip, I can use the latest lingo correctly. lol) Anyway, it was so bad that the doctor actually sent Samuel out of the room because he was giggling so much he couldn’t hear Jordan’s lungs well. That, I have to admit, was one of my lowest parenting moments. It is totally embarrassing to me for someone else, especially a doctor, to have to discipline my kids. Horrible!

After the doctor left the room, and I proceeded to take away everything dear to my children as a form of punishment for acting like fools, I realized that they really were just being excited boys. They weren’t being bad, just silly. They are excited about the holiday and whatnot. It does not excuse bad behavior, but I realized I was more concerned with the fact that they had embarrassed me rather than their bad behavior. The doctor came back in the room and was smiling at me telling me to send them outside to “run it off” when they get home. He has children, he knows how little boys are.

So many times, I realize that I try to get my kids to behave well so as to not embarrass me in public. This isn’t really a good motive behind parenting. Anyone can “train” a kid to act correctly in public, but it’s what is in the heart that matters. The kids can behave well on the outside but if their hearts are harbouring bad attitudes, what good am I really doing them? I have to look beyond right now and realize that my kids’ actions are not necessarily the important thing, it’s their attitude and hearts. Kids are going to act badly at times and this will not be the last time they embarrass me. I am sure. But I have to look deeper and change the attitude behind the action and then the action will take care of itself. The attitude behind their action today was not bad, it was just silly. That is not to say that they have good attitudes all the time, in fact on the way home they got in trouble for their attitudes. I just need to realize that my children have free will and are therefore going to mess up sometimes. Up until now, I have to say they have been pretty well behaved in public and maybe I was getting a little too prideful in that. God always has a way of making you see you are not above everyone else. 🙂 But it’s not the actions that matter, it’s the heart that matters.