In August of 2009, I suffered my second miscarriage in 1 year. I was devastated. I had said before we got pregnant with that child that if this didn’t work out we would pursue adoption. I am adopted and we always knew we would adopt at some point. After we miscarried, we knew it was time to pursue adoption. So, we filled out an application with Bethany Christian Services. We got through all our paperwork and homestudy from August till December. In January, we began the process of waiting. We had no idea how long we would wait, it could be days or years, we didn’t know. We were open to some special needs and also to any race. We hoped that we wouldn’t have to wait long. The first week I got a call about some twins who we were being considered for. That didn’t work out, and over the course of the next two months there were five more situations that we were considered for that didn’t work out for one reason or another. All five were girls. I just knew we were going to be getting a girl, although we were open to either gender.
On March 26, 2010, I was folding laundry and I got a call from our social worker. She said there was a baby in NICU who was born premature and weighed 2lbs. She said the birthmother had chosen us for her child. She then told me the baby was African-American and it was a boy. I didn’t care about any of the other things, but what I focused on was the word “boy”. I had a quick conversation with God and he assured me this was the child He had for me. The social worker told me to call Glenn and call her back with an answer in a next couple hours.
I got off the phone and called Glenn. I couldn’t get him, he was in a meeting all day and wasn’t answering the phone. I called and called, but no luck. So, the social worker finally called me back and said they needed an answer because the birthmother was leaving the hospital and was going to sign the papers right then. So, I said “yes”. I knew this was the baby for us, even though he was a boy. lol.
I finally told Glenn later that day when he was a Subway for lunch. That’s what you get for not answering your cell phone. lol. We went that night to see Joshua for the first time. The social worker warned us that the birthmother had named the child and she wanted us to keep the name. I was very worried about what name I would have to live with for the rest of his life. Both my other boys had Biblical names and I really wanted him to as well. We got the hospital and saw his name was Joshua, we were thrilled. God works out even the smallest details.
We went every day to visit Joshua for the next 7 weeks while he was in NICU. It was a difficult experience and not one I would want to repeat. NICU is a constant rollercoaster of ups and downs. We would be joyful each day to see the weight he had gained and then he would get a UTI or something and we would worry and pray. We also had the terrible experience of watching the little boy next to him pass away. That was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. It really makes you realize that nothing is certain. Joshua came home on May 5, 2010. He was done wonderfully since then and despite having some special challenges with a genetic condition and some developmental delays, we are so blessed that God has brought him through it.
Adoption is a wonderful gift and we hope to adopt again in the future. We are forever grateful to Joshua’s birthmother for her sacrifices for her son. She could have made so many other choices for him, but she choice life and adoption for him.