My baby, Elijah, turns 8 months today. I can’t believe it! Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday he was born. And really with two kids under two years old, it really could have been yesterday and I wouldn’t remember. lol. The sleep deprivation still isn’t over yet. 🙂 But hopefully soon.
I was reflecting on Elijah today and how he came to be in our family. Each of our children has a unique story and his is no different. It was July 2010, and we had just brought Joshua home, in May, from 7 weeks in NICU. He was doing well, but we were still very busy with round the clock feedings and doctor’s visits. The last thing we were thinking about was another baby. But one pregnancy test later and we were shocked to learn we were expecting. I will admit I cried when I found out. It was a lot of different things that made me cry. One was the idea of raising two kids so close together in age, along with the two big boys. Then there was the sleep deprivation and exhaustion of dealing with a three-month old preemie who was more like a one month old at that point. But mostly it was all the losses we had been through before that point. We had two miscarriages the two previous years before we adopted Joshua. Those were still very fresh in my mind and I was scared it would happen again. I just didn’t know if I could handle that. I remember praying and asking God to make me miscarry, if I was going to right away, because I just didn’t want to get attached to this baby and lose it. We told our families right away, but honestly we were cautious about attaching to this baby. We went to the first ultrasound at 8 weeks and I was really expecting bad news, but everything looked great.
We went along still expecting things not to work out. Our first miscarriage had happened at 14 weeks, so I thought I would feel better after that point, but I really didn’t. I was still worried. I really didn’t allow myself to begin to attach to Elijah until our 20 weeks ultrasound when we found out we were having another boy. I was overjoyed that he was doing well. But I have to say I was still a little concerned.
At 36 weeks we found out his cord was around his neck and no matter how many times the doctor reassured me that this was common, I was still very scared. But all that time God had Elijah in his hand. Elijah arrived safely on March 9th, his due date. He did have the cord around his neck three times, which is very unusual.
We knew early on that God had his hand on Elijah. My last miscarriage due date was March 9th. When they did the first ultrasound for Elijah and told me his due date was March 9th, I was not happy. I didn’t want to have that date staring me in the face for the next 8 months. But I took solace in the fact that babies never come on their due dates. Of course, Elijah would be the exception, no matter how hard I tried to get him to come before the 9th, he wouldn’t. I learned something about God through that experience. I feel like God redeemed that date and now it is a happy day for me. He took my sadness and gave me joy. March 9th will no longer be a sad day for me, it is a day of rejoicing. I thank God everyday for Elijah. The doctor’s weren’t sure why we had our other miscarriages and said we didn’t have much chance of carrying another baby, but Elijah is our miracle. He is the cutest and best baby in the world, of course, I am bias. He has been a healing balm to my wounded heart. I am so thankful for how the Lord has chosen to bring me comfort with this precious little boy. Every life is a gift. Take heart, if you are hurting, God can turn your mourning into joy.