Anonymous

Currently, I’m reading a book called “Anonymous”. It’s about the hidden years of Jesus, which is most of his life. We know nothing about his life from age 12 till age 30. That’s a long time. We can assume he was just doing the carpenter thing with his father, although it would appear his father passed away at some point during those years since he is not mentioned after Jesus begins his ministry. He apparently didn’t do anything particularly notable during that time because no one in his home town had any idea he was the Messiah. So, what was he up to? Why did God allow that time in his life?

Have you ever been in a season like that? One you thought was nothing special? It’s the in between. Maybe you are preparing for something big like marriage, or expecting a baby. Maybe graduation or moving. Maybe you are just a stay at home mom cleaning up poop and dishes (hopefully not at the same time) each day and taking care of young kids. You feel unseen and unimportant. What could this season of anonymity possibly be for?

I find myself in that place. I have been a stay at home mom for 17 years now. I have been homeschooling for the last 8 years but most of my kids started traditional school this week for the first time. I now have two teens and two toddlers at home. My teenagers are self sufficient in doing their schoolwork or are taking college classes online. They are technically homeschooling but require very little from me. So I am left with a one year old and soon to be three year old. It’s a thankless job most days. I am not particularly fond of the toddler years and especially not at 41 lol. I’ve pretty much had a toddler for the last 17 years and wouldn’t mind that season of life to come to an end.

I find myself in an transition. In three years, when my youngest is 4 and starts preschool, I will be starting school myself, grad school. I will be getting my counseling degree. I asked God why he told me that was the plan three years before it happened. That’s very unlike Him. He’s usually a last minute sort of guy. I think it’s for preparation. I am using this time to prepare for the next season of life, just as Jesus did in his unseen years. I am sure he didn’t just walk up to get baptized and start his ministry without thinking it through and doing some preparation. We don’t get to read about that in the Bible but I’m sure it happened. God was preparing his heart for what he was about to do. I find in this season I need to learn to rest. I am not good at sitting still. Go, go, go. Sitting still requires work for me, but it’s vital to be able to sit still a find rest. If you cannot find rest, you cannot heal and prepare.

The last ten years have been full of trials and loss. We as a family need healing from that. We are working through it with counselors and amongst ourselves, but like all things, it takes time. We need time to learn to rest and let grace have it’s perfect work. So many times I think we just plow through a tough season of life and keep going like nothing happened. If we sit still and examine ourselves we might have to deal with the pain. It’s tough. I don’t like counseling. I don’t like dealing with my issues, it hurts. But if I don’t do that then I will carry them with me into the next season of life. I cannot do the work God has for me to do as a counselor if I don’t do the hard work of preparation and healing in this season.

Maybe you find yourself in a season of waiting. Maybe you think there’s nothing good that could come from it. Maybe you are afraid to sit still and rest because you might not like the feelings the you find and have to deal with. I get it. I’m right there too. But if you want to grow into what God has for you in the next season, you must walk through the stuff of this season. You have to do the work and prepare. You have to learn to rest and listen to what He is saying. You have to heal your heart.

Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” Joshua 3:5

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