The first visit

On Saturday Glenn went to visit Kaki. He went alone because I was at home with a sick kid. He picked her up and she was initially a little shy with him, but then warmed up. He was able to face-time with me while they were in the car. She was initially smiling but got quieter once she saw me. After that he took her out to run a few errands and they had a pleasant time. He then took her back to her caregiver and we wondered how she would handle that. I expected she might be upset when he tried to leave her but instead she waved him off and asked her caregiver for some food. It shouldn’t surprise me at this point, but it still does. She just never reacts like you would expect a normal child to react and we see how unusual her attachment is. She has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder which is common among older adopted children who never had the opportunity to attach to a caregiver early in life. They just can’t seem to attach to caregivers later in life. And we have seen evidence of that with her but this was further evidence of it. On the one hand it makes it easier to see that she is doing well and likes living with her caregiver, but it’s hard for us to understand that she doesn’t necessarily care that we aren’t there. I’m sure she does in her own way, but it’s not like it would be with any of our boys. My one year old can’t even let me out of his sight right now without crying, he is forming a good attachment. I’m happy about that, it’s normal, but then when I see abnormal it makes it more evident. Overall it was a great interaction and we are hopeful that next time I can come with Glenn and she will react positively with me. At least we know we aren’t causing her distress by leaving, which would be difficult.

Overall she is doing really well, but had an incident last week before we visited. On Thursday there were tornadoes in our region and all the kids at school had to spend a long time in the hallways of their schools in preparation for the tornado. Of course this caused distress for normal kids but even more so for special kids. You can imagine how it was with a whole school of special kids like are at Kaki’s school. So, about 2:30pm I got a call from the school that she was having a bad episode, as she has had in the past, but worse than the school had seen and they called EMS. I had to convince them she was okay and didn’t need to go to the hospital but it was very stressful for all involved. She recovered once she was at home with her caregiver, but anything out of the ordinary really bothers her.

On the whole she is doing really well though and we are thankful. She was granted disability last week which we are also thankful for and will really help financially with her care. God provides. Thank you for all your concern for us and her and your prayers.

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