I’ve been asked many questions lately and I thought I would share them here:
How is Kaki adjusting to her new home?
Really well. She is really enjoying her new “brother” (the boy who is living in the same home who functions like her and is her age) and her caregiver. She is eating well and sleeping well which we are very thankful for. She has had some ups and downs, which was to be expected but overall she is doing well. She has been out of school since she moved and that has been good for adjusting to her new home. She will start school again Monday which I know will be good for her, because she will continue at her old school which she likes.
How are you guys doing since she moved?
Good. It has been really weird since school has been out, Glenn is home on winter break and Sam left shortly after Kaki to spend a month in Brazil. Nothing has been “normal” yet but we have had lots of time to just chill, which is what we have needed after a very trying fall. We haven’t found it as emotionally difficult as we thought it might be. I’m not sure if that’s because we did a lot of pre-grieving this fall or because it’s still coming. Probably both. It has been relieving to not have to deal with the constant physical and emotional weight of dealing with Kaki. We both feel very much at peace with where Kaki is and that it’s the best place for her, although it isn’t how we envisioned it originally. We are learning that sometimes things don’t work out like you want them to. Sometimes you don’t get the happy ending you wanted and you just have to go on with things that are less than perfect and that’s okay. We are dealing with feelings of failure and frustration, but ultimately just because something doesn’t go the way you want it to doesn’t mean it’s a failure. I still believe God has a plan and it’s good. It may never be what we wanted or saw it being, but we are still trusting. We may not see redemption until she gets to heaven but that’s okay.
Is she still your daughter? Is this foster care or something?
Yes. she is still our daughter and we did not give up legal rights or anything. It is not foster care. She is living with a caregiver and that’s all. But I know it’s a confusing situation and people have lots of questions and don’t understand it all.
How are the boys doing?
Very well so far. Joshua now has his own room, he and Kaki used to share. We repainted it for him and changed things around and he LOVES it. We have seen less behaviors from him the past couple weeks and he seems to really do well having his own space. The other boys are adjusting well. They say the house seems quieter with her gone and I would totally agree. We are less stressed which leads to the whole house being calmer.
Do you get to visit her?
Yes we will. Right now we are giving her some space to adjust for the next month, but after that we will visit her whenever we like. Most likely we will bring her to church a couple times a month to spend some time with her. We don’t believe it would be wise to ever bring her back to our house, we think that will confuse her.
Is this where she will live long term?
Yes. As long as things continue to go well she can live with this caregiver indefinitely. We are thankful for that stability.
How are you paying for this?
It is not cheap. I will tell you. We are blessed to have gotten help in the form of the Innovations Waiver from the state for disabled people which pays for most of the expenses. Right now though we are paying her room and board out of pocket, which is expensive. However, we have applied for disability which will cover those expenses and should be approved within the next few months, which we are thankful for.