When I am out and about with my 6 kids the question I get asked most is “are you gonna have any more kids?” So, after having to answer this question while waiting in line at Aldi the other day with a perfect stranger, a man no less. And then when I said, “who knows?”, he then said, “you know how this happens right?”. To which I just smiled. I figured I should just go ahead and answer it once and for all on the blog. So, are we going to have any more kids? The answer is, I don’t know.
I find it interesting that people are so interested in what I view as a very private choice. I think people are so interested because we don’t adhere to the norm of 2.5 kids and that makes people want to question our sanity. I am pretty sure they don’t assume we really don’t know where babies come from. For the record, we do. My mom did her duty in explaining all that to me a long time ago. Thanks mom! I know that was not the easiest conversation to have, having had the conversation with one of my kids myself now. So, I think people just want to know why we choose to have so many kids in a world where we have the choice not to. It comes down to believing that kids are a blessing, the first one or the tenth one, and that God will provide for the kids he chooses to bless us with. If God chooses to bless us with another child then we will be thrilled. If he doesn’t and we only have six, then that’s great too. I am happy either way. I leave the choice up to him.
I’ll be honest, I believe what I just said but it is not always easy to live that out. Luke’s birth was not without some scary moments and I also have had some issues after his birth with my heart. Both things made us pause and reflect about whether or not we were really willing to live out these beliefs we have. But in the end, it comes down to trusting God. Do I trust God with my child’s life and birth, and do I trust God with my own life and health? And yes, I do. It’s not easy and it’s scary sometimes but ultimately I cannot say, “no, I don’t trust you God”.
I know some of you are freaking out right now. “What? They are open to having more kids, then they are gonna end up with 20.” I’m sure our parents are shaking their heads and wondering where they went wrong in raising us. Just kidding. Actually, they are responsible. They taught us to listen to God and do what he was calling us to do. And Glenn and I both agree this is what we feel called to, where ever it may lead.
Some of you know I have had two miscarriages in the past. I am sure many of you who have also experienced that grief are wondering how I can willingly set myself up for that to possibly happen again. Well, I would be lying if I said it wouldn’t be devastating to have to experience a miscarriage again. I hope I never have to do that again. But I have learned some things since experiencing my miscarriages. One, is that each child is a precious gift. I took that for granted before having my miscarriages, I don’t anymore. Two, is that each one of those gifts are mine whether I got to meet them on this side of heaven or not. I don’t just have six children, I have eight. My two little ones wait for me in heaven, and they are no less my children then the ones I see every day here on earth. So, if the worst should happen again, I will rest in the fact that someday I will see all my children in heaven. And I will treasure all the more the ones I have here on earth.
So, will we have more kids? I don’t know. That’s up to God. But whatever happens, I am content with the blessings God has given. And I will just chuckle to myself when people ask me crazy questions about family planning the middle of Aldi.