You can love someone and not like them

I came to the realization lately that you can love someone and not like them. Let me explain, for those of you who think I have lost it. I love all my kids equally, but I don’t like them all the time. They all do things sometimes or act in ways that irritate me and I really don’t like them at that time. Don’t pretend you don’t get what I’m saying. If you have kids you know there are times when you like that child and other times you really just want to sell them to the circus. Some of my kids I like more often than others. Some are easier to like. Sometimes it’s a personality thing. Some of my kids personalities are like mine and some are not. Some I like to spend more time with than others. It’s not a horrible thing, it’s a fact. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have like spending time with your kids all the time. I know, I sound terrible. Don’t tell the mommy police. Sometimes it’s easy to spend time with my kids and sometimes it’s hard. It also has to do with the stage they are in at the moment. My 11-year-old son has a tendency to be sassy at times. It’s typical 11-year-old stuff, but it’s annoying. When he’s in a sassy mood no one wants to be around him including me. My baby is 6 months old. It’s a great age. He sleeps at night and plays on his own well and can laugh and play with others. He’s not mobile and can’t get into stuff and doesn’t talk yet, so no attitude. My 11-year-old will grow out of being a preteen and the baby will become one. Things change and stages change.

Some of my kids have behaviors that are difficult to be around. Our daughter went through a whole year last year where she didn’t like us. She would hit people and throw tantrums. No one wanted to be around her and we as parents, felt guilty for not liking our daughter. Our 5-year-old son has developmental delays and ADHD. He is giving us a fit right now with throwing tantrums and getting into stuff. It’s really hard to like him sometimes right now. As I was feeling guilty about these situations, I realized that it’s okay. I don’t have to like them to love them. Love is not a feeling it’s a verb. It’s about giving and serving and providing for. It’s not about how I feel at the moment. It was very freeing to realize that. So, if you have a child that is challenging you right now and I now many of you do. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t like being around them, it doesn’t change your love for them. And know that stages change and you will likely feel differently about them soon enough. Until then, just love them the best you can and take frequent breaks from them. You can be a better parent with some time away from a difficult child. Don’t feel guilty about it. Your child with thank you for it, because when you get that break you will be able to be a better parent when you are with them.


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