My due date is quickly approaching, thank goodness, because I am so over being pregnant. I am ready to be delivered! That has me thinking about my previous experiences in giving birth, this is our 6th child. So, I have come up with some rules for dad’s to be or labor attendants to abide by while your wife/friend is in labor. I will not divulge whether or not my husband actually did any of these things to protect the guilty…hahaha.

1. NO CELL PHONES! There are two parts to labor where cell phones are concerned. There is the happy part where your wife will be fine with updating Facebook and playing some games on a cell phone or whatever. Then there is the part of labor that is really hard and she will most likely throw your cell phone across the room if she sees you with it. Just sayin. For your own protection, put the cell phone away unless you are out of the room! And, especially, don’t text someone while your wife is pushing….ahem!

2. No talking about food, if your wife has not been allowed to eat. The last thing your wife wants to hear about when she has had ice chips for 20 hours, is food. Nor does she want to see a tv show about food either. And please don’t eat in front of her. It’s just common sense. Again, you are risking your life here. So, please excuse yourself from the room to eat.

3. Take care of yourself. The last thing your wife needs, while in labor, is to worry about you. She doesn’t need to worry if you haven’t eaten enough and are about to pass out. So please take care of yourself by eating well and staying hydrated.

4. NO SLEEPING! Unless she is sleeping. If your wife is all drugged up and snoozing away, by all means, take a nap. However, if she is struggling through contractions at 2am I don’t care how tired you are or when you slept last, NO SLEEPING! She needs your support through this. And she might just kill you if you’re snoring away while she is trying not to die from contractions.

5. Don’t be over sensitive. She is going to say mean things to you while in labor. It will happen. What you say is, “yes, dear”, and then move on. That’s not really her talking, it’s the pain, She doesn’t mean it, so don’t take it to heart.

6. Don’t ever tell her about anything embarrassing that might have happened during labor, trust me there are plenty of things. Labor is the most vulnerable a woman can ever be. She has lots of complete strangers examining her girly parts and everywhere else. She is in the most pain of her life and just generally not at her best. Embarrassing things happen during labor. The kind thing is to move on and never speak of them again. Just remember this woman lives with you, you most likely have some embarrassing things that have happened or will happen to you as well. It’s best to keep those things private.

7. Cry. When you see your new little bundle of joy and have just witnessed the pain your wife endured to bring this child into the world, shedding a tear will mean the world to her. Tell her how proud you are of her and how much you love this little person. It’s a miracle you have just witnessed, remember that.