Mothers are tricky business. They are the ones who we bond to first in life and the ones that can hurt us the most if they leave. They are comforters, friends and confidants. No matter who you are, most likely you have a mother, or someone who is functioning as a mother figure in your life, that you love and run to when things are good and when they are bad. I can see this conflict on my daughter’s face. She needs a mother in her life, but she was hurt by the leaving of so many mother figures in her life that now she resists letting the true mother, me, into her life. I know she doesn’t understand that I will not leave or hurt her, so she walls herself up. She had men leave her as well, but that doesn’t stick with you quite as much as when the mother bond is broken.
This past year I have watched so many of my friends have their mothers go home to heaven. It shocks me each time it happens. These are young woman, too young for their lives to be over. I never thought it would happen, and yet it does. None of us knows how long we have here on earth. What it has made me realize is two things. One, live life now, because you may not get a tomorrow. Have no regrets, and do those things you want to do now. Second, I am so blessed. My mom is still here with us and is doing well. She is not facing any terminal illness or dementia. I am blessed. My mom is older than all these woman who have passed on, and yet I get her here with me. I didn’t really expect that to be the case. My mom was older when she got me and so she was always older than most of the mom’s we hung out with. Now, almost all of those moms have passed on or are facing grave diagnosis. So I know how blessed I am to have my mom not only here but in relatively good health. She has been here to know my kids and sees them regularly, since she lives right down the street from us. We are blessed indeed. My kids have three out of four grandparents that are living right near us. I never had that as a kid and I am so glad my kids do. Grandparents are so important. And they provide us parents with some much-needed relief at times.
Since we have this time with our parents, I wanted to tell you, Martha, Tonda and Ron, how grateful we are that you are here and so involved with our lives and the lives of our kids. We are blessed to have you. I am grateful God has given me two moms and a dad in my life. If we don’t ever get another day with you all, we want you to know we are blessed and we love you. You are our greatest supporters and we could not be the parents we are without you. Growing up not knowing if my kids would get to have any grandparents or not, I am so grateful they have three who are such a big part of their lives. You are so needed and so loved. Don’t ever doubt that we know how blessed we are to have you as parents and also as grandparents.
Moms you are needed. You are the most important person in your children’s lives. They need you, whether they act like it or not. They love you, no matter what their actions, attitudes or words, say. Know you are important and that you can be the greatest influence in your kids life. You can provide them with love and support and be the best influence in their lives or you can do the most damage. No pressure. Moms matter. Do your best as a mom each day and when you fail, cause you will, a lot, know there is grace from God to help out with our shortcomings.
Thanks for this one Ruth. I’m a bit teary over it.
Thanks for the tears…this is so sweet. I cherish my grandmothers more than words could ever say. I was blessed to grow up with 3 grandmas, 3 grandpas & a great-grandma. I’m so abundantly blessed to still have two grandmas. These are the women that loved and supported me when my own mother walked out. These grandparents and their prayers are a huge reason I’m still alive and am where I am today. I thank God daily that my daughter and I still have the ones that remain. These are some of my most cherished relationships.