Thursday, I took Elijah to the asthma and allergy specialist. Fortunately, Grandma was able to keep Joshua for me since he does nothing but scream in doctor’s offices. So, Elijah and I headed off to the doctor. I was expecting them to look at his records and maybe schedule some allergy testing and put us on some new meds for asthma. The doctor decided that we should do allergy testing right then while we were there, so we went through he whole a thousand little pricks on the back with small needles test. Elijah was great about it and didn’t even cry. The hard part was that he couldn’t itch his back for 15 minutes. That is really hard for a 21 month old. 15 minutes later no allergies showed up. So, since we have a dog and cat at home the doctor wanted to do a subcutaneous test for those allergies. That requires an actual shot. So, we did that. Elijah wasn’t a fan. And I had to hold him perfectly still while they did it. That was really hard! 15 minutes later and they discovered he is allergic to cats, very allergic.

The doctor was really concerned that he has had pneumonia twice over the past year. So, she decided we should do some testing to rule things out. They did some blood tests to see if he has some sort of immunity deficiency, since he is sick a lot. Then she decided we should schedule a test for Cystic Fibrosis, which will be done on Tuesday.

We left the office with a prescription for asthma and allergy meds and went to the lab to have the blood drawn for the immune system testing. I have had one other of my kids have to have blood drawn as a toddler and it went pretty well. So, I bear hugged him and hoped for the best as the technician tried to find his vein. It took a while to find it and that made him REALLY mad. Finally it was over and they gave him a sucker. He didn’t care, he was done with all that. He was still screaming. I tried to calm him down but couldn’t, so I set him down in the lobby of the medical office to get his coat on. He lunged forward and hit his head on the wall in front of him, which made him more mad. So, I decided to forgo the coat and just get out of there. I got to the car and realized my keys were in my purse, but I was holding a screaming child so I threw my stuff on the sidewalk to try to fish out my keys. By this time, Elijah was calming down a little and had taken one lick of his sucker. Then as I was searching for my keys he got the sucker stuck in my hair! I found my keys and put him into this car seat and then yanked the sucker out of my hair and it fell on the ground. This, of course, made him mad again, even though I gave him another sucker I had in my purse. I got into the car and turned on the DVD player and headed for home.

I didn’t think a lot about the possible diagnosis of our son until I got home that afternoon. I pride myself as a parent of almost two special needs kids that I can handle scary potential diagnosis that are thrown at me because I am used to it. I do pretty well now at ignoring what doctor’s say until something definitive is determined. Joshua has been tested for some pretty scary stuff, but I have made it through on a healthy case of denial. I realized that afternoon that it’s not the same with my “normally” developing children. I expect Joshua and our daughter to have special needs and difficult diagnosis, we signed up for that. We knew the possibilities when we agreed to be their parents. But with our other boys it comes so unexpectedly. I somehow though that since we agreed to parent two special needs kids that our biological kids should be immune to special needs. I know that’s not how it works, but it’s what I thought subconsciously. I found myself terrified at the possibilities of Elijah having Cystic Fibrosis. It’s a really scary disease, we saw a child in NICU with it. I know too much about it to be in denial. I also felt somehow that Elijah especially should not ever have health concerns because of all we went through to get him, our two miscarriages and all that. I know that sounds silly, but you are lying if you say you don’t make deals with God like that sometimes. We all do. They might not be conscious, but thats what we are thinking. So, while my rational mind knows there is a very small chance that Elijah has anything but, “really bad” asthma according to the doctor, I still am nervous about these tests. What parent wouldn’t be? But I also know that he is God’s and God has a plan for him. I sincerely hope that plan does not include special needs, but if it does, God will equip us to deal with that, just as He has with Joshua and our daughter.