I know, I am just full of poop stories, but with two toddler boys that are potty training it really does feel like all I do is deal with bodily functions. Since I had a rough day today, just one of those days you don’t want to do again, I decided to recount my troubles, or at least part of them.

Four out of four kids are sick with colds. It’s been coming on for a few days now and today I realized I am now the only one in my house not to have a cold. This morning Joshua was fussing when he woke up and I was busy so I asked Samuel, my oldest, to go get him from his crib. Samuel comes back to me and said, “mommy, I am not touching him!”. So, I went to see what the matter was and it looked as though green slime had taken over his face. He indeed had a cold and that was the moment I decided we would all be trekking out to the doctor today. Jordan, our second child, has been coughing for over a week now so I decided he should be seen at he doctor as well. The other two kids, oldest and youngest, are just a little sniffly. So, I cleaned Joshy up and called the doctor, the first appointment was at 12:00. Not my first choice. My kids eat at 11:00 and nap by 11:30 usually, because we normally have to pick up the big boys from school at 2:30pm. Fortunately, today they were out of school for the holiday. So, off we went to the doctor. We were just about to walk out the door when I realized both little boys were stinky. So, I changed them both, in a big hurry and rushed out the door a little later than I wanted to. I rushed them all into the doctor’s office and sat down in the waiting room.

As I sat in the waiting room, I started to smell poop. I checked both kids in diapers and everyone’s shoes. No poop to be found. Maybe it’s just in  my head…..no I keep smelling it really strongly. I look down and on the bottom of my shirt is poop. It must have gotten on my shirt in the rush of diaper changes. I obviously didn’t have a change of clothes or anything, not even a coat to cover it with. So, I did what I could with wiping it off with baby wipes, discreetly so no one would realize what I was doing. That didn’t work very well, it just smeared and ground into my shirt and now I had a big wet spot as well. It was a grey shirt too, so not hiding it. About that time we were called back by the nurse. So, I hide my poop stain with my purse and usher the mob of kids back to the exam room. The nurse left and I tried to wash out my shirt as best I could, while still wearing it, with some paper towels and water from the sink in the exam room. Still didn’t do much good, I still stunk.

Anyone who knows much about pediatricians knows that they usually take a lunch break around 12:30-1pm. So, 12:00 is the last appointment of the morning. For those of us seasoned moms we know that means that you will wait inordinate amounts of time for the doctor to see you at that time of day due to being backlogged earlier in the day. So, we waited and waited. Four boys in a very small room with only a few kids books is not what I call fun. And I still stink.

Finally, the doctor comes in and I hide my poop by holding by screaming two-year old in my lap. Joshua HATES doctors, he just goes to too many. So, whenever a doctor comes into a room he will scream until the doctor leaves, even if they aren’t examining him. So, since we had to have two kids looked at it was extra long screaming, but hopefully it distracted from my smell. 🙂

We finally left with two prescriptions for antibiotics for one ear infection, bronchitis and a sinus infection. We got home after a trip to the pharmacy and took a much-needed, but way to short, nap.

Surprisingly, I have more poop stories, but that’s all I have energy to tell tonight. I am sure I will someday fondly remember my poop years, but right now I am just ready for all persons in my house to take care of their own poop.