I have been reading this book lately called Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s really good and I would highly recommend it. It’s all about dealing with the times that we all come unglued with our emotions. I think we as women don’t like to admit this so much, that we come unglued. We like to pretend we have it all together and that we are perfect wives and mothers. This is a great lie and it doesn’t serve any of us well because we end up trying to measure up to this unattainable goal that we think everyone else has mastered. I see women around me that put off this “I have it all together” vibe, myself included at times. It makes me think that those times when I lose it with my husband or my kids, that I am a bad mother or wife. Why can’t I hold it all together and not yell at people? Why do I get angry about the silliest things like someone spilling the last of the milk on the floor? Why can’t I cook and clean and have dinner made and look perfect when Glenn comes home? Instead, he comes home and dinner is not made and I have no intentions of starting it because I am a basket case crying because I just can’t take it anymore! Whatever “it” is for the day. Yesterday was one of those days. 🙂 I, for one, have decided that we need to talk about this as women and not hide it. We all have anger issues, don’t we? If you just said no, you are the greatest saint I know or you don’t have kids yet. I didn’t have an anger issue until I had kids. But a few sleepless nights and a baby with colic and I found myself loosing it with everyone around me. It scared me. I thought there was really something wrong with me. How could I be angry about this precious little child, even though he was up for the 15th time in one night and was crying inconsolably?
I think the first step to getting control of our emotions is admitting we have them. I, personally, like to hide mine and pretend I am some robot that doesn’t feel anything. Feeling things is dangerous. People might see I am not perfect because my emotions are not perfect. I get out of control with my emotions at times and act in ways I wish I didn’t. I yell at my kids and act irrationally. The worst times are when you can see yourself doing this and realize that you are acting irrationally but are seemingly helpless to stop it. 🙂 I ask myself all the time, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just get it together? I spent many years really believing I was the only one who had these issues. But recently, I have realized in talking with other moms and reading this book, that more often than not mom’s deal with anger issues. I think it comes with the territory of mothering. We are all stretched thin trying to keep up with everything we have to do to take care of our families and our homes and we don’t give ourselves room to breath enough. This book address that issue and other ways to combat our out of control emotions. It’s a great book and I found some really helpful tips in it, that I won’t get into right now. My purpose in writing this post is to help other moms know you are not alone. We all have these unglued moments, daily. We all think we are the only ones who have this problem and we are alone. That is just not true. I think we should commit to talking about this more. You don’t have to share shameful moments of ungluedness if you don’t want to, but just admit you share in these issues. If we talk about this more than we can combat it more. I have made a drastic shift in recent years in my life in the idea of being transparent. I spent many years thinking I was the only one who had issues in her life, and now I realize that is not true. One of the reasons I write is to let others know that I have struggles and problems, so that they don’t feel alone. So, let me be the first to share that I come unglued, as recently as this morning. 🙂 I am sure that might shock some people since I am a quieter type, but I am convinced all of us come unglued at one time or another, some of us are just better at hiding it than others.
You are speaking to me this morning! I came unglued this morning as well…in fact, I think I’m more unglued than glued most days, lol. I have noticed I have more unglued days around my menstrual cycle, and I know this doesn’t excuse it. I actually try to be more aware and try to catch myself in those moments when I know I’m escalating to ungluedness…is that a word? Well, it is now! It is great to know I am not alone. I also feel like all the moms around me always have it together and I wonder why I can’t be the same. Honestly, I have nothing together…there are too many moments where I am dealing with too many things at once, juggling all my home responsibilities, and still trying to meet the needs of my kids and squeeze in a few minutes here and there for the things I need. Now that I think about it…I think I could use a vacation. 🙂
I am usually unglued and proud of it! It means I’m doing everything I can to do it right even if it looks to me like I’m failing.
Crying in front of the receptionist at the pediatrician’s office, looking defeated while telling the school secretary that my son will be out all week, huffing and puffing up two flights of stairs to pick up Todd’s homework from his class because he can’t go and the baby was up from 3:30-5:30….oh yeah, I’m unglued!
BUT this too will pass and I can always comfort and encourage someone else who goes through this type of month. In turn those women are encouraging me!
Thanks, Ruth! Thank you for being transparent & for sharing this book.
I try to be the professional (aka career woman extraordinaire) & the loving, doting, supportive wife AND the super-mom always having the schedule straight, the i’s dotted & the t’s crossed. Coming un-glued? Me? Naaahhh! This is why my daughter is regularly told by her father, “If you make your mother lose her mind, you will lose privileges this week.” lol
Just this week (as yet another ‘something’ fell through the cracks), I stated with exasperation, “I am NOT super-mom!” To which my loving hubby responded, “No, you’re not, but you’re pretty close.” I pray that all my sisters have the kind of husband that reminds them not of their shortcomings, but of how amazing they are despite the little “episodes of losing their minds”.
Like you, I wish more of us were willing to be transparent. I fear failure especially where being a mother is concerned. And I constantly remind myself that I am who God created me to be & thank goodness He has a hedge of protection around my daughter. hehe At any rate, I think there’s a lot of love & humility reflected in a willingness to admit to one another that we’re not perfect, that we can’t do it all & that there are times of ungluedness (thanks, Leisa). What better way to show the love of Christ to our sisters!
Thanks guys for all your comments. It’s good to know I am not alone.