August is one of those months I dread. My husband is a school administrator and August is the start of school and therefore, REALLY busy! On top of that we are still plugging away at adoption stuff, including applying for 12 different grants. We also just started in a role at our church of directors of christian education, which means my hubby does for church what he does at work, administrate. We are rolling out some new things this fall for that and all of it is starting this month! AHHH! Oh and by the way I now have two kids to get ready to start school in 22 days. Yikes! Busy, busy, busy. It’s at this point in the year that I want to stop this ride so I can get off. I have said more than once I would so like to fast forward this month and be in September when things will settle down a bit.
We all have busy seasons of life and there are times when we just want to quit everything and start over on some little island in the pacific. At least I do. But that would be throwing the baby out with the bath water. I don’t dislike my life, it’s great, it’s just really crazy right now and that clouds my perception. Things are not as bad as they seem. I don’t really like to be crazy and busy, I know that seems strange seeing as how I have four, soon to be five, kids. I should like chaos since that is what I live in most of the time, but I really don’t. I don’t mind external chaos as much as internal. I feel internally chaotic right now, I don’t like that feeling. It’s at that point that I realize I make myself that way. I choose to feel chaos or not. I choose to feel anxious about stuff. If I just take a minute and breathe, I won’t feel so chaotic. If I spend time doing one thing at a time, I can feel less anxious.
I realized yesterday that I was feeling a little depressed about this busy season coming upon me. You know, that Monday morning blues kind of feeling when you realize that summer is over and it’s back to work and stuff. I fought that feeling all day, but I realized that it was ruining my day by allowing myself to feel depressed. I was looking to far into tomorrow. The Bible says don’t worry about tomorrow. We should focus on today and find the little things in each day that we can find joy in. Tomorrow might be scarey or depressing, but if we focus on today God will give us the grace to handle each moment that comes our way.
Armloads of Blessings 
Inner chaos is a challenge for me as well. Since writing out some of the “heavies” on my heart yesterday, though, I am feeling much better. Knowing that there is an end in sight also helps 🙂
Unlike last year, I am looking forward to the boys going back to school. I think it’s because I planned this summer better…even though we kind of missed the month of July. I don’t feel robbed. I believe I did the best I could and gave the kids what they needed and that summer was successful.
It could be because I have a sweet little one to whom I will have all to myself…although she tends to get a little bored with just mommy around.
All that to say, I’m right there with you! Thank you for the reminder about not worrying!
Though our worlds are different, I could certainly relate and appreciate your thoughts. I feel the same way too often. So easily our perspective can get clouded. And the good of having “lots of life to live” ends up becoming “TOO much life to live.” Jesus knew we needed the command NOT to worry. Let’s enjoy today!
“She smiles at the future.” Proverbs 31:25
You are absolutely amazing! And while I would love to sing “I Am Every Woman”, the truth is I struggle to keep all the balls in the air all the time. I also do not like chaos, which is just the way life is sometimes. I have learned to continually remind myself not to get depressed or frustrated with the things I can’t control. Sometimes I forget to remind myself, but then I think I am not alone in this…relax! 🙂