I was just out working in my garden. I love growing things in my yard that I can eat.  It also brings peace and solitude to my life. I always find that if I go out there and spend some time tending to my plants and talking with God about stuff it clears my head. Lately, I have been dealing with the ‘Whys?’ of life. You know the ever pressing “why do so many bad things happen around me and to me?” kind of question. It just seems everywhere I turn lately something else is happening that I see as bad. Death, disease, divorce and destruction. Why does God let this stuff happen? I can’t answer that, if I could then I would be God, and I am not. But all I can say is that I do know He works all those “bad” things to His glory and our good, ultimately. It might not be something we can see now or even anytime while we are here on earth, but it is true.

One of my favorite verses has to do with gardening. Psalm 126:5-6 ” Those who plant with tears will gather fruit with songs of joy.  ⁶ He who goes out crying as he carries his bag of seed will return with songs of joy as he brings much grain with him.” This was a verse I found when I was going through my miscarriages, in fact it is why this blog is named armloads of blessings, another translation states it like this, “So those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest, So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.” It is a verse I go back to during hard times. I read it today as I was reeling of “why?” and something jumped out at me I hadn’t thought about before. What I realized was there is a time between sowing and reaping. Some of you are thinking, “um, yeah, duh”, well I hadn’t thought about it. I would really like for there not to be a time between sowing and reaping, I don’t like waiting. But there is a time between. When we are weeping and sad and yet still put forth effort of sowing into something or someone there is not an immediate return on our efforts. God comforts those who are hurting but He doesn’t provide healing immediately, healing takes time. Depending on the cause of the pain it can take years for healing to occur, but it will happen. There are always scars, you cannot go through a painful experience without scars and scars are good to remind you of your pain and growth. But after the healing time there is a harvest. God promises a harvest, that harvest looks different for everyone in their particular situation. I know you are thinking, “but not everyone sees good come out of a bad situation in their lives”. Yes, that is true, everyone may not see a harvest in this life, but it will happen in heaven. A pastor was talking recently about the sudden loss of his son in a car crash. He was talking about this topic and he pointed out that he can see no good come out of his son’s death in this life, but he does see that his son is now in heaven and he will see him again someday and that gives him comfort. As Christians we always have the comfort of heaven and that is our ultimate harvest. I know that is not what you wanted to hear, me either. I don’t want to wait until heaven to see the harvest from my bad situations. Our miscarriages were really hard and painful and I am so thankful that we have been given two sons and hopefully a daughter soon, since that tragic loss, but those children did not replace the ones I lost. Between us, I really thought they would, but the didn’t. I still feel a sadness when I think about the babies I lost and I know I always will. It is lessened and the children we have now have helped in the healing, more as a distraction than anything, but they have helped. But my ultimate “harvest” will be seeing those babies in heaven when I get there. Then our family will be whole as it was meant to be and that brings me comfort.

God has provided a place where there are no more tears and pain, but the earth is not it. There will be bad stuff happening here until we leave to go home. It is the way it is, but we have great hope! We know that all that bad stuff will not be anymore in heaven. We are not home yet, but when we get there what a rejoicing we will have at that harvest! God’s ultimate gift to us!