I had a new experience the other day. On Friday I checked our bank account online and discovered that we were down to $0. Not what you want to see. I had expected for Glenn to get paid that day but for some reason it didn’t happen. I freaked out! This has never happened to me before. I know for some people living pay check to pay check is normal, but for me it’s not. I really work hard to not spend everything we bring in. This month was different though as we have had a lot of adoption expenses, like ordering birth certificates and doctor’s visits, that were not in my monthly budget. I have a separate bank account for adoption contributions, but as you all probably know, we are saving toward the $5600 fee we will owe after our homestudy is completed. So, I was determined to pay for these little odds and ends of things for the adoption just out of our regular checking account. It would have worked out fine but Glenn’s paycheck didn’t clear the bank on Friday. So, I had $0 in the bank account and I had to get groceries. We were having a party on Saturday for our birthday boys. After freaking out I prayed. Yes, I should have prayed first, as freaking out never does me any good, but that’s just my natural reaction.
Glenn came home that night and said he thought he had some cash in his wallet that I could use to get groceries. It turned out he had $70 in his wallet. I had to buy groceries to feed 20 people plus our normal food for the week and a gift or two for the kids. $70 was going to be tight. So, off I went to the grocery store. I carefully chose the things we needed most and put them into my cart. I got to the register praying that my math was right and that I would avoid the embarrassing situation of having to put something back. Some of you are thinking right now, “why didn’t she just use a credit card?”. My husband asked the same thing. We just got out of debt and I am determined not to charge anything anymore!
So, back to the checkout line. The cashier rings up my purchase and the total was $69.83! I thanked the Lord and put my .17 back into my wallet. What is the point of this story? God provides. He knew what we needed and He provided it down to the last .17. Why did I worry? He has provided so many times before, but yet I doubt Him. On Sunday, I was in church and I heard God asking me “are you going to trust me?”. Of course, my first reaction as any good christian is “yes”, but do I really? Do I trust Him to provide for us when we are down to the last penny? Do I trust Him to work out the details for this adoption and provide the $20,000 needed to pay for it? Do I trust Him with my family, that He knows best no matter what may happen? I can’t say I always do, but I am working on it. He has taught me time and time again over the past few years to trust Him when I can’t see how things are going to work out. When I can’t understand why bad things happen. When I don’t know what’s ahead for us. He has our best interest in mind. He will work out things for our good. That might not be how I wanted things to work out, but they will be for the best. People think we are crazy for pursuing this adoption, having such young kids already, but all I can say is that we are trusting God. He has led us to this and we are trusting that He will provide the means with which to fulfill this. When things don’t make sense, and you don’t know what to do or how things will work out. Trust God. When you go to the store and you need groceries and have no money. Trust God. Just trust, that is all He asks.