1. …the toilet seat is always up, yet even that does not seem to help with “accuracy” issues.
2. …any impolite discussion of bodily functions is perceived as completely hysterical, rendering them unable to contain their laughter and glee.
3. …all the socks in their drawers (which were originally white) are a dull shade of beige.
4. …you can never buy enough Spray-n-Wash.
5. …you lock your refrigerator with a small chain and padlock because you are afraid they literally will eat everything in it (including raw breakfast meat, but that is another story).
6. …they somehow manage to wear out the tops of their shoes (yes, the fabric over the toes). ???
7. …shoes are optional. Even at 45 degrees.
8. …you must ask them daily if they have changed thier underwear and also if those “new” underwear they now have on came out of the drawer and not the laundry hamper.
9. …you know all the names of the Thomas the train characters and Pokemon.
10. …you must tell them reguarly to keep the bugs OUTSIDE.
11. …you have to force them to shower.
12. …every stick becomes a gun, sword or some sort of sci-fi weaponry.
13. …their first word is “car” or “ball”.
14. …you went to the store the day before but you still don’t have any fruit snacks because they went through the box in one afternoon.
15. …legs have been removed from chairs, the coffee table and the piano through “incidental contact”, such as jumping, falling, etc.
16. …”hey, watch this” is a phrase that strikes fear in your heart, knowing it might mean you have to spend hours in the ER.
17. …a puddle just begs to be jumped in, especially with church clothes on.
18. …wrestling is a form of affection.
19. …you say, “What is that smell?” and the guilty party proudly announces that he is responsible.
20. …there is mud on the floor of the bathtub. In the master bath.
21. …the quantity and variety of bandages available within your house indicate that you would be prepared for an actual re-enactment of West Side Story.
22. …your last eight app downloads for Google Chrome included the word “Mario” in the initial search.
23. …you receive slobbery kisses that leave some sort of sticky substance on your face but would not trade it for the world!