I went to the doctor’s office this morning trying my best not to fear the unknown and to have faith and a good attitude, but still I was nervous. I was expecting to hear that I had to have surgery. And with that surgery came the possibility of not having any more children and not being able to nurse my 6 month old any more. There was a lot riding on this. I sat down in the waiting room and two pregnant women sat down on either side of me. Not really helpful at the moment to see two pregnant women. I was not amused. Anyway, so I get called back to the ultrasound room. It’s not a room I have grown to love really. Actually, I really dislike it. It has been in this same room that I have heard the best and worst news. But lately, with the exception of Elijah, it has been all bad news. Cysts, miscarriages and even Elijah’s cord wrapped around his neck three times. Nothing good comes from this room right now. But it’s also a place where I have met God. During my first miscarriage I was 15 weeks along and not expecting anything but a routine doctor’s visit. But instead I sat in this ultrasound room and heard the worst news possible. I was alone, Glenn was in the waiting room with our two other children. I sat there in shock and grief. But during those awful first moments I heard God say to me “I am right here”. And I knew He was. In that room with me, holding my hand, walking with me through that horrible time. So, today as I walked into this room all those memories come flooding back. The ultrasound tech, who has also been with me in each of those moments, walked out of the room for a minute. And I looked beside me and smiled knowing that God was right there, where He always is.
The tech came back in the room and said to me “you know it’s bad that I know you by your insides”. It’s too true, she has seen my insides so many times and they are weird. I have had so many strange things. Anyway, I said, “well maybe today nothing weird will be there”. She looked at me and said “yeah, right!” It took her 30 minutes to do the ultrasound. She looked and looked but could not find the cyst that had been so evident just a few months ago. She said “I just can’t find it”. And I said “prayer works”. She just looked at me like I was crazy. I know she didn’t believe me. The doctor came in and looked at everything and said. “Well, I think it must have been scar tissue from the previous surgery that blocked your tube and cause fluid to back up” That’s his explanation, but well all know what mine is. God still heals!
It’s amazing how one place, like an ultrasound room can have such ups and downs. It’s a lot like life itself. Good things come and so do the bad things, but God is with you through both. He was there with me in my lowest point, sitting there holding my hand as I said goodbye to two babies I loved and He was also there with me today as I got good news.He allowed all those things to come into my life. All of them have taught me lessons and He has been there through them all. God wants to be there in the situations of our lives. Whether they are big or small, good or bad. He alone can see the future and He alone is our comfort and strength. Realize today that whether you are in a good place in your life or a not so good one, God is there, all you have to do is reach out and take His hand. God will answer your prayers, sometimes they will be happy answers and the ones that we wish for, but sometimes they will not. But either way, He is still there for us. He never leaves us.
I know that room. I don’t have as many bad memories tied to it as you, but there’s one. Here’s to NOT seeing the inside of that ultrasound room for a very long time!
May God be praised…and the medical team be amazed!