Super Mom doesn’t live here

I am not Super Mom, and I don’t know anyone who is. Then why do we hold ourselves to some standard like there is someone who is Super Mom that we could strive to be? We think we should be so perfect as mothers. If we don’t have it all together, keep a perfect house, make gourmet meals, have perfect children with super clean socks and do well at our jobs, then we are failures.

I think there is a misconception about me. I am quiet, most of the time, in public anyway and I think because of that people think I am that way at home. I wish I was patient with my kids all the time and a Super Mom, but the truth is I am not. I lose my temper with my kids, in fact at this very moment I am fussing with Samuel to go outside and play so I can have just five minutes of quiet! I don’t cook gourmet meals, in fact we have frozen pizza quit a bit. My kids socks are not always clean and in fact the other day Jordan had to wear the same underwear he was wearing the day before because I had forgotten to do laundry that day. And I do not have perfect children. For the most part they behave with other people around, but they are certainly not that way at home. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I hold some great standard of motherhood.

I also find myself thinking that I should be perfect and beating myself up when I am not. I realized that everyone feels this way. There are no perfect moms and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up when we fail. God’s mercies are new every morning so why aren’t we able to forgive ourselves for our failures as mothers and move on. That is not to say we should not even try to be better mothers, but we shouldn’t carry around this burden of guilt with us everywhere we go. There are times everyday that I do something I wish I could change. I wish I would be more patient or spend more time with my kids. I wish I would have more resolve and follow through with what I say I am going to do as far as punishment goes. But ultimately every morning is new and I can start again and try better. We are striving to be better, but none of us can be perfect until we reach heaven. So, we need to cut ourselves some slack and not carry around our guilt.

We also should talk about our failures. Everyone thinks there is a Super Mom because no one wants to talk about their failures and therefore we seem as if we don’t have any. You assume that everyone else has it all together. If we just were willing to be transparent and open about our failures we could see that we are all in this together and we all need one another to help do better in our weak areas.

So, I will start. My weak areas are that I yell at my kids sometimes. I hate that I do that, but I do. I try really hard not to, but sometimes my anger gets the better of me. Another one is that I let my kids watch too much TV sometimes. I am trying hard to change that one, but it’s an easy trap to fall into. That is not all my failures but that’s a start. I think it’s freeing to admit to your shortcomings and then Satan can no longer hold them over your head and make you feel guilty for them. If anyone else wants to share feel free. If you don’t, please know that there are no super moms in the world and that even at your most horrible moment as a mom, someone else has been there and you are not alone. You are not the only one.

3 thoughts on “Super Mom doesn’t live here

  1. My temper seems to get the best of me too! Right now homework for 3 kids while tackling dinner prep is too much for me. What in the world will it be like with a newborn and a husband who finally has a job (this is stated in faith)?!?!

    Fibromyalgia has a way of shutting down the “must have a clean house” but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. And then comes the anger, again.

    I wonder why we respond in anger? In the past (3 years ago), I have read and listened to (on CD) a book called “Scream Free Parenting”. I now have it on hold through the library again. I need to revisit some of the points in this book. They make sense. It’s not necessarily a Christian book but the principals and suggestions were Biblically sound. I highly recommend it for those of us who just lose it sometimes!!

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